After being on the air for 23 straight years, you could forgive the writers of The Simpsons for deciding to give the "Bart gets in trouble at school" or "Homer gets in trouble at work" storylines a rest for a week. This weeks replacement - Moe Szyslak's bar rag tells an epic tale of adventure and woe - is decidedly from the "we haven't done this yet" category of Simpsons stories. Helped by Jeremy Irons' impeccable tones, what should be a train-wreck of an episode works surprisingly well.
Rag's Well That Ends Well
After a town hall meeting at Moe's Tavern, the bartender is forced to confess that he has no best friends, only his trusty bar rag. The rag (voiced by Irons) relates its origins as a tapestry, woven by a peasant Marge in medieval France and cursed by Mr. Burns, Duke of Springfield. The tapestry goes to a monastery where it is eaten and defiled by a Viking Homer, only the first of many horrors it must suffer as its incredible journey continues.
Milhouse goes on a journey of his own. Fed up with Bart's bullying and taunting, Milhouse ends their friendship, casting Bart as the outsider, desperate to patch things up.
This Is What 23 Years of Non-Stop Output Will Do To You
I'm not quite sure what the reaction at the script meeting was when writer Tim Long pitched the idea of the episode's plot being "Moe's Bar Rag Tells Its Life Story". It requires quite a leap of faith to base your A-plot on something so bizarre, but Jeremy Irons single-handedly saves the day. As Moe's bar rag is used as a cloth to wipe the blade of a guillotine and provide dinner for the Depression-era Simpsons ("Rag soup" for dinner), Irons' mournful and elegant tones provide the right amount of comedy to keep things on the funny side.
From Rags To Punches: Empty Feelings
That said, it's hard to shake the idea that potential was still wasted. The bar rag is just a MacGuffin, and despite the historical settings and Irons' voice, never directly interacts with the story. True, it's just a bar rag, but surely more could have been done with the ingredients than just "bar rag goes through history and Irons talks through all of it."
The same applies to the Milhouse/Bart tiff. While it's great to see Milhouse assume the dominant role in their strange friendship, he does precious little to actually enjoy it. Bart's conciliatory poem was good (as was the reveal of its true author), but the angle is resolved far too quickly - Dredrick Tatum punches Bart once in the arm...and that's it. I get that they're kids and this is only a 20-minute program, but it still feels like a waste.
Verdict: Guilty
The show should get credit for doing something completely out of the box, and recruiting Jeremy Irons to voice Moe's rag does add an inspired touch to the episode. However, the problem is that more than just a touch was required to make this a really great installment of The Simpsons. It's interesting, definitely, and quite humorous in places (French Bart's "Maman, we have ceased to grow" is particularly delightful), but the lingering impression is that "Moe Goes From Rags To Riches" was capable of so much more than the end result.
The Simpsons, "Moe Goes From Rags to Riches": 3/5. Given the setup and the promises, surprisingly disappointing, saved by some good gags and Jeremy Irons' voice.
Michael Perera - The only rule in writing is honesty. If you're honest, the words will write themselves.
